World's On My Shoulders
by crying-bloodx
Summary: Kate's life is perfect. If you subtract the drugs, sex and misery. Will she finally break? And what are the consequences if she does? Rating may raise to R later.


Disclaimer: I do not own any Lizzie McGuire characters. Characters that you do not recognize from the show are owned by MOI, so if you like one, I would appreciate if you ask before using him/her/it. I put an unofficial copyright on my story and characters.  
  
Note: This story contains language, violence, and mild sexual content, that is not described, but still present. If you are offended by any of these things, please go no further. I do not intend to offend anyone, that's why I don't write details in certain places. If you have a problem with what I write, that's what the reviews are for.  
  
* The first and last chapters of this story is a songfic for Hailie's Song by Eminem, 1) because I love that song, and 2) because it was screaming for a fanfic . the chapters in between will most likely not be songfics. *  
  
World's On My Shoulders  
  
Her blonde hair obeyed perfectly as she brushed it into a half ponytail. Of course it obeyed. She had perfect hair. Perfect hair, perfect eyes, perfect body, perfect tan, perfect life. Or so it seemed.  
  
- Sometimes I think there's nothing to live for. I almost break down and cry. Sometimes I think I'm crazy, oh so crazy. Why am I here? I'm just wasting my time.-  
  
She grabbed her purse and chugged a glass of orange juice. Pretty much all she could have was orange juice, now that her mother had put her on that diet. She brushed off her papers and got in the car.  
  
Arriving at school, she watched as the usual crowd came to her, asking her how her summer had been, raving on about how great she was. It made her sick. Of course, that day she became popular, she loved it. But as she grew older, she realized that popularity came with a price. She kind of missed her old friends, and as she had reached high school, the popular friends of hers had tried new "cool" things. Drugs, dares, and practically all of them slept around with everyone.  
  
-Sometimes it feels like the world's on my shoulders; everyone's leaning on me.-  
  
Kate Sanders was miserable. Her first hour of twelth grade and already seven guys had asked her out. One had even asked her to marry him. Five girls had complimented her showy red halter dress, and three people had invited her to parties. Why was she miserable?  
  
The day lugged by. Finally, seventh period. Lunch. She sat at her usual spot, the head of the popular table. Ethan at her right, Claire at her left, like it always was. Kate nodded unconsciously as her so called friends babbled on about stupid things. Makeup, music, clothes, magazines. They never talked about anything like books. Never anything like philosophies, or religions, or anything deep for that matter. Always the usual superficial remarks about the latest fads and expensive designer shoes.  
  
What if Kate liked to read? She did, actually. She had read everything from Hamlet to The Hobbit, from The Giver to The Godfather. She loved to read. It brought her out of her own sad life, and into another person's world. But did she tell anyone that? No. Her group of friends hadn't talked about books since fifth grade. And they were talking about a biography on Brad Pitt.  
  
The miserable girl came out of her drifty thoughts as she felt a warm hand on her bare leg. Ethan ran a hand up it, staring from his seat at Kate. She sighed and pushed his hand off. He stared at her, surprised. She'd never done that before. She always cooperated with his sick games . they were always teasing games, until the Friday night parties when he could find a quiet bedroom for the two in the blazing, full houses.  
  
-'Cuz sometimes it feels like the world's almost over, but then she comes back to me.-  
  
She quickly finished up her celery sticks and brushed by her friends, rushing to get to eighth period. Ethan walked up to her suddenly, blocking her way to the stairs.  
  
"What was up at lunch?" He said, his stupid look falling over his face.  
  
That stupid face. Those stupid puppy eyes were the ones that had made Kate give herself, her whole body to him three years ago for the first time. Now she became his every week. How she hated that puppy face. She had lost her whole being to that face.  
  
This time, she was angry. She brushed by him, trying to ignore his comment, only to haved her arm strongly grabbed.  
  
"Uh . hello? Are you there? Kate?"  
  
She glared at him. That's all he ever thinks about, she thought. I can't believe him. He doesn't care about me. Just about himself. If I don't physically pleasure him, I'm nothing. But she didn't say that. Just like she didn't say a billion of her other disturbing inner thoughts. She just nodded and replied,  
  
"Sorry, I was just uncomfortable with that in school." She shifted her eyes and walked away.  
  
-People make jokes because they don't understand me, they don't see my real side.-  
  
In History she was Lizzie McGuire walk by with her two best friends. Oh, what she would pay to be Lizzie. Or at least to still be Lizzie's friend. That girl's life was perfect. Two perfect friends, two perfect parents, a perfect house, a perfect life. Not like Kate's fake friends. They only hung out with her to be cool. And not like her father who was in jail, and her rich, annoying mother that only cared to make Kate physically perfect. Yeah, Kate had a mansion off the side of the city, but her life was still screwed up. Fucked up friends, parents . life.  
  
-I act like shit; don't phase me. Inside it drives me crazy.-  
  
-But I wanna to just take this time out to be perfectly honest, cuz there's a lot of shit I keep bottled up that hurts me deep inside of my soul. And just know that I grow colder the older I grow. This boulder on my shoulder gets heavy and harder to hold, and this load is like the weight of the world, and I think my neck is breaking.-  
  
-Should I just give up or try to live up to these expectations?-  
  
She insulted her ideal livers with her usual Nirderanda, Gordork, and Loozie jokes, and sat down to zone out of class. The teacher didn't care. He dated her mother for what was probably the best two months of his life, so she was treated with care, in hopes that Mrs.Sanders would come back to him.  
  
-Sometimes it feels like the world's on my shoulders. Everyone's leaning on me.- 


End file.
